Who’s the Star?
Published: June 3rd, 2020 by theatretrain

Who’s the Star?

I’m tired of seeing sad but funny quotes. You know the type. “I’m acting like I’m ok – don’t interrupt my performance.” What I like to think of as fridge magnet wisdom. But when life is out of kilter it can throw complete opposites together. Many years ago, I took some visitors from the Czech Republic around the sights of London. We ended up at Horse Guards Parade to watch the changing of the guard. The soldiers looked magnificent in their highly polished breast plates, plumed helmets and high black shiny boots. The horses were groomed and dressed to within an inch of their lives. The two mounted soldiers rode into the yard and lined up with those on foot ready for inspection. There was a lengthy wait as it was not yet 4 o’clock. All very impressive, still and important.

“The inspection was carried out within a sea of pee and the new guard moved on”

Suddenly the nearest horse to us discharged a volume of urine that could only be described as a torrent. It seemed endless and of huge capacity. It was creating a cascading river with an ever-widening delta and tourists were scattering left and right to be out of harm’s way. It eventually ended and there was a lake before us. And then the other horse did exactly the same! By now people were either genuinely concerned for their own safety or laughing uncontrollably. The soldiers though continued as if nothing was happening. The inspection was carried out within a sea of pee and the new guard moved on. I suppose if I was a horse who had been photographed for 4 hours, I would get a kick out of holding it in and then letting it all go in a horsey game of pay-back time.

Keeping Calm and carrying on

What a way of making the performance your own and how wonderful that whenever life is so po-faced, there is always the possibility of being completely undermined. But I also admire the way of dealing with it. A whole new meaning to keeping calm and carrying on.

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